Berlioz Symphonie Fantastique

     All I will post today is the second movement of Symphonie Fantastique. This is how I am feeling right now, and what makes me happy today.

First Week of School

     I just finished the first "week" (three days) of school two days ago, and am getting ready for the first full week of busy classes. So far I am really enjoying all of my classes, and I feel so relieved to finally be busy again. Let me tell you, it felt amazing to go into the Performing Arts Center with more music to practice. I will get orchestra music tomorrow on top of that, and then more individual work for my flute lessons on top of orchestra! Needless to say, I thrive when I'm busiest. I feel that the past few days have said a lot about how the year will continue to go, and if so I couldn't be happier. Not only am I doing well in all of my classes so far and enjoying all of them, but I feel I am also doing a good job balancing school work and my personal life. Now I just can't wait to see what lies ahead!

Hard Work Pays Off

     I came out of my placement audition with amazing success! I am now part of the university Wind Symphony and Orchestra! I could not be happier with these results. I get to play in the same ensembles as some of my best friends here at school as well as with my brother for the first time. I am so excited for this year to start now, and was so happy about these results that I started jumping up and down cheering! I can't wait to play amazing music with some of the best musicians on campus.
     Most of all, I am so happy to see that my hard work all summer paid off. I spent so much time practicing and trying to improve. In fact, I really do not remember working so hard for something in my life! It is the most amazing feeling in the world to get something you wanted so desperately by working as hard as you possibly could.

Ready to Go Again

     Placement auditions are done, and it feels great! I did the best that I could, and am hoping it was enough to move up from where I was last year. We'll see! Most of all, I was so happy to see and hang out with my good friends again. I've been more alive today than what feels like the whole summer. I think that's what happens when you find friends who just get you and that you like to spend time with. Tonight I'm going to a "music" party. It'll be good to see a lot of people from the music department again as well. I'm just ready for things to get back to normal again, which means for things to get really busy! Tomorrow I will be heading over to school to see the outcome of placement auditions as well as play with the Viking Band at the university's Info Fair (which also means lots of free stuff, and who doesn't like that?!). I also have to read the first chapter of my abnormal psychology textbook before school starts on Wednesday. Needless to say, there is a lot to do! It's a good thing that seeing everyone back on campus today has me rearing to start another year of college.

The "Big" Day

     So, tomorrow is the day of my placement audition. I put big in quotes because while it is not really a big day (you see, the professors listening to auditions have basically already made up their minds on where people will be placed), my mind seems to play tricks on me into thinking it's bigger than it is. I am beginning to get nervous, although mostly because I have not performed in quite a while. At this point, I am just trying to stay present in the moment, and save all of the thoughts about my audition for tomorrow.
     I am watching a funny (although not supposed to be funny) 80's movie with my boyfriend after having a little something to eat. It is quite the relaxing evening, after taking a short nap around dinner time and then just relaxing on the couch with some television. It's been a gloomy day, and so my apartment has been very dark except for the dim glimmer of the Christmas lights on my walls. I would say this has definitely contributed to the sleepy state I've seemed to be in today. However, this is not a bad thing. It's been a really nice Sunday, and my parents as well as my boyfriend's parents came up for lunch today. Overall, although I'm beginning to feel a bit nervous for tomorrow, I'm still trying to focus on the great day I had today.

"How to Cook Your Life"

     Yesterday I watched a documentary titled, "How to Cook Your Life." While it was a little different than I expected, it ended up being very good and even inspiring. The camera follows a group of people taking a cooking class from zen chef Edward Espe Brown. He describes how when he was young he wondered where the world went wrong with food. Our food isn't fresh, it sits in packages for weeks. However, at the same time, we throw away perfectly good food just because it's past the serve date printed on the package. Now he is a renowned chef, and in the video he discusses the importance of being present while cooking and wasting as little as possible among other things. It is a very intriguing video, and while I will admit it is not for everyone, I would recommend watching it because it was actually very eye-opening. While listening to the advice of Edward Espe Brown, you may be thinking, "Well, that's obvious." However, how many times in our life do we actually follow the "obvious" advice? Yesterday I finally took the chance to try out exactly what he was saying, and the result was astounding. I found myself, for once, thinking in the present and enjoying what was happening around me. Let me tell you, for someone who is ALWAYS thinking at least a few days ahead, it felt incredible to actually be in the present moment. I will continue to try to follow his advice, and I would recommend that everyone take another good listen to the seemingly obvious advice in life. You might be surprised to find you are not following it.

Improvement

     I have found that one of the best feelings in the world is when others can see how hard you work and the improvement you've made in an area of your life. I speak about this with regard to my music. I have worked so hard in the past year to improve my tone (the way my instrument sounds when I play it), my practicing habits, and especially my performing. I can't even believe the improvement I've made when I look back at my adventures throughout the year. My tone has changed so much (for the better), and I now practice at least one hour every day. I think that the biggest improvement that has been made, however, has been in my performing. I used to avoid performing at any cost, and it resulted in becoming more terrified of it than I originally was. I actually think that I never before considered being a music major because I was so afraid. However, I am so proud of myself for finally not making excuses starting last year. I told myself that if I ever wanted to be able to perform and enjoy it, I had to keep doing it. I finally decided that being afraid was not a good enough reason to not do it. Throughout the year, I played successfully at a masterclass and studio class recital as well as numerous chamber music and big ensemble concerts. I began to like the anticipation I got right before performing, and I started to get good at it too.
     I can't wait to see the improvement I make this year, which starts with a placement audition on Monday. I am absolutely prepared, and intend on just having a good time with it! 

Starting Again

     Today was another great day. Many of my friends have finally returned to school, and the music building started to come alive again. I went to play music at an important fundraiser for the university, and had a really great time hanging out with a lot of fun people. I also got to speak with my band professor for the first time in a few months, and he now knows I am a music major. It's always very cool to see my professors getting excited about what I'm doing, and it helps to keep me going. I'm now looking forward to the start of school even more than I was before!

Altruism

     This has turned out to be an interesting day. I have had more chances today to commit completely altruistic acts than probably for the last couple months. First, as I was driving my car to go downtown, I saw an older woman fall on the side of the road when getting her mail. Shocked, I stopped my car immediately and, along with another person who had seen the incident, went to make sure she was alright. After making sure she was okay and leaving, as I was driving downtown, a bicyclist ran into the back of my car. Again shocked at the loud thud behind me, I immediately put my car in park and the emergency brake on and looked behind me to make sure she was alright. I later finally made it to my destination after these two incidents.
     When I arrived at my destination, I started to think about what had happened and about how many people would have actually stopped to make sure the people involved were okay. And so I come to another thing I would like to say today: try to make it a goal to commit an act of altruism everyday, even if it is just as small as opening the door for someone with their hands full. That action alone may not seem very altruistic to you, but it is to the person walking through that doorway.

New School Year, New Beginnings

     As my sophomore year of college rapidly approaches, I continue to get more and more excited about what is to come. New friends, new experiences, and new interests. I remember when I started my freshman year of college, and I couldn't wait to get out on my own. I was 100% sure I knew what I wanted out of life: to be a doctor, living in the northwest, have a family, etc. However, a few days into the school year I remember looking at my flute professor and saying, "I want to be a music major." What I wanted to do with it, I had no clue. All I knew was that it was what I loved, and the only reason I wasn't doing it was because I was afraid. Now, I am no longer afraid. I am a music performance and psychology double major, hoping to become a music therapist. But even these days, I find myself wondering if that is really what I want to do with my life. I know I love what I am studying, I'm just not 100% sure what I want to do with it anymore. I think this is a good thing, though. When I was younger, I always felt I had to map out my life, know what I wanted to do. It feels good to finally not feel totally sure about what I want to do anymore, and it has allowed me to really explore my options.
     With all that I have experienced and learned this past year, I now look forward to learning even more and having more eye-opening experiences. This will be a big year for me, as I enter into major psychology classes and do my upper bid for music. Overall, I just can't wait for another year studying the two subjects I love the most. I feel incredibly lucky to have that opportunity. 

"Professional" Headshots

     Today turned out to be a great day! All is well with everything musical, and I had an opportunity to express myself in the realm of the visual arts. My boyfriend needed headshots (as he is on his way to becoming a concert pianist, and he is really excellent!), and so I was able to check out a professional camera from my university and put my photography skills to the test. I also had the opportunity to enhance the photos using my computer. I had so much fun taking them, and he was very pleased with the end result (thankfully!). So, here are a few of them!

What keeps people moving forward?

     With the current state of the world, I find it very hard to relax. These days, whenever I pick up my flute to practice, I find that the tension constricts my abilities to play as well as I can. With my focus seemingly closer to the war, today being the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attack, the economy in shambles, and so many people unemployed, I have to wonder what really keeps people going. For some it may be living in a state of oblivion, for others it may be confronting those problems and continually moving on. I have decided to start something different: a blog about anything that makes me happy or keeps me moving throughout the day. You can expect pictures, projects, lots of food, and some flat-out ridiculous things that just make you laugh! I do this in hopes of finding a state of total relaxation and bliss, and being able to tap into that in even the hardest of times. I'll start with a photograph, which reminds me of the beauty that still remains in this war-struck world.