"Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder"

     If there is anything I have learned in the past month or so of my life, it is that a long distance relationship can tell you more than you could imagine about the things you want in life. Really, there are two options: 1) this person means so much to you, and distance only makes the heart grow fonder and want to be where they are, or 2) the timing is off and you are just not ready for what is happening. Each of these options are perfectly fine conclusions to come to, but it is amazing how fast they can come about and what else comes with them.
     My long distance relationship has, to my surprise, already brought me to one of these conclusions. I have found distance between my boyfriend and I to make me become so much more appreciative of what I have with him. There is another thing that I did not expect, though. Although there is nothing more that I want right now than to be with him, in a sense I am happy to be on my own. I feel like I am getting to know myself all over again, and I am finding passions in life that I perhaps forgot about because it is so easy to get totally consumed with your relationship. I feel that now, discovering myself all over again, I can imagine not just a fantasy of our relationship but I can also imagine him fitting into my passions and dreams like never before. I know this sounds cheesy, and maybe doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it is almost as if I can imagine real life with my relationship because I have to work on myself and my goals while working on maintaining my relationship. This is, after all, what it comes down to in the end: work. I guess that is the best way I can describe it.
     Maybe I am not making a whole lot of sense because I do not fully understand it myself. All I can say is that I have learned so much about what I want in life in just a little over a month of a long distance relationship. It is so interesting too because so many people say that these relationships are doomed from the start, but I do not believe them anymore. I think that if something is worthwhile and meant to be, it will be. I try to live by that these days, and my relationship in a way feels better than ever so far. For me, distance truly does make the heart grow fonder. 

Fundraising for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)

     I recently signed up for NAMIWalk Washington 2012 in order to raise awareness and reduce stigma surrounding mental illness. This cause is extremely important because so many people with a mental illness do not receive help due to stigma about going to therapy or receiving medication. Reducing this stigma could save so many lives and make our world a better place!!
     Leading up to the 5K walk, all registered walkers work to raise money in their communities for NAMI. I post this here because I ask all of you out there to be please donate if you can, anything helps! I will post the link to my fundraising page below as well as a link to NAMI's homepage in case you want more information about them. Thank you!!

My Fundraising Site
namiwalks.nami.org/rebeccascheurich

NAMI's Homepage
nami.org

Appreciation

     It is truly amazing how having something for a long time changes your perspective and appreciation for that thing. For me, that has been where I live. I have always dreamed of what it would be like to live in a bigger city on the east coast, with a completely different culture from the northwest. I never realized how lucky I am to live in Washington until now, though. Since my boyfriend just moved to New York City, I feel like I get a little bit of perspective every single day. I am constantly reminded that hardly anyone gets to enjoy nature the way I do, and I'm sure not too many people are able to drive downtown and take a run down to the waterfront. I am so lucky that every day I can wake up to the gorgeous trees that surround this area, and in a few short minutes by car I can be either at the bay or at a lake. And you can say hi to any person you see and get a friendly wave back. I am realizing that I need to take a step back and realize that what I have is incredibly special, and I need to savor every moment I have. I intend to do that from now on!

Just a few photos I want to share as well so you know what I am talking about...

Reflection

     I have been experiencing a lot of change in my life these days. Just about two weeks ago, my boyfriend of almost two years left for graduate studies in New York City. I am also coming to a point in my education where I need to begin thinking about my own plans for graduate studies. With all of this change, I find now to be a good time to reflect on myself.
     The biggest thing I have learned, and this has been really hard for me, is to take life one day at a time. When you spend so much time absorbed in the future, which I am definitely guilty of sometimes, you lose sight of the importance of the present moment. In life, you never know what could happen, and the last thing I would want is to have regrets because I could not keep myself focused on what is happening now. I am trying my hardest to focus on enjoying the journey rather than fantasizing about the destination.
     Another thing I have learned is that I need to let go and allow myself to do things that scare me. Often times, this is when I have the most exciting and enlightening adventure. I have also realized through trying this that a lot of things will scare me. Everything in life is a risk, but when you allow yourself to take that risk you are also allowing yourself to receive an even better reward. This started for me I think when I decided that I needed to pursue my two passions, neuroscience and music, without sacrificing either. It scared me to think of what it could mean, where it would take me, and just how difficult my journey will be. However, I have found that the things I am most scared of are those that motivate me to become better than I could have possibly imagined.
     Lastly, I have learned that there must be a balance between being sure you are living for yourself while still being conscientious of others. Of course, what you do in life must be first and foremost for your own satisfaction and happiness. However, when you lose sight of those people you love most in your life, whatever you do for yourself becomes much less meaningful. When you succeed with others, you have the world. It really does not matter how successful you are if you do not have anyone to share it with. 
    

I'm supposed to be sleeping...

     ... and yet here I am! My first time posting in a while yet again, and I choose to do it at midnight the day before finals week officially begins (although I guess technically, it IS finals week!). As bad as it is, I must say this seems fitting with the whole procrastination theme I've been seeing all over the internet tonight. Anyway, you don't need to hear me talk on forever about that, I'll save it for another day.
     Tonight more than anything I am having a moment of gratitude. My boyfriend got home from being in New York auditioning at graduate schools about a week ago, and since he has been back I feel even more grateful to have him in my life. I value my time with him even more because I know that soon he will be leaving for a longer period of time than these short trips, and I want to make every moment count. Of course I am sad that he will be leaving, but I also feel so incredibly lucky that we have been able to be together for as long as we have, and am so excited for the amazing opportunities that lie ahead of him in his career. He is one of the most talented people I know, and I cannot wait to see him grow into the amazing concert pianist I know he will become.  The other qualities about him that astound me are his intense humility and unending support for my goals. I have never met someone so talented beyond his peers who continually says, "Anyone can become extremely good at music as long as they practice hard. Talent is overrated." And he supports me every step of the way in my musical and other endeavors without making me feel at all stupid for being confused or scared about some of the things I am going through that he has already dealt with. These are the qualities I could have only hoped to find, but I managed to find that and so much more. If it seems as though I am rambling about these cheesy feelings, well, I am. But when you find someone who treats you how you feel you could only dream of, you start to feel pretty lucky considering a lot of people don't find that.  
     I also feel very lucky to just in general have people in my life who love and support me no matter what happens. I feel like lately I call my parents every day with a different plan for how I want my life to play out. No matter what they are always supportive and they remind me that what is most important is that I am pursuing a career that I will be passionate about. My friends have also helped me in this regard. Those who know me best remind me constantly how I light up like a Christmas tree whenever I talk about neuroscience, and that they can see that is where my true passion lies. For me, not hearing a bunch of disappointed sighs about me not completely pursuing music like I intended and rather feeling love and support from my peers was the best response I could possibly imagine. This is how I know I have true friends, because they care more than anything about my happiness and well-being. This is one of the best feelings you could hope to have.
     And now I sit back and reflect on life since starting college. It has only been about two years but still so much has happened! Even through all of the good and the bad, my life has absolutely changed for the better. I have a man in my life who treats me with the chivalry everyone thinks has died, and a group of friends who are even more incredible than what I could have hoped for. Although I came to college to further my education, I have done so much more than that by filling my life with more people that I know I can count on for a long time to come. 

Just Another Day

     So I don't really have much on my mind today, but I figured I would post something since work is relatively calm right now and I don't get done until 9 tonight. It's actually kind of unfortunate because today has been probably the most beautiful day of the year, but at least I was able to enjoy it for a little bit this morning. I am also very fortunate to be employed and be able to choose my hours to work around my school schedule, many people cannot find that and I feel very grateful because of that.
     Anyway, I guess what I want to post about today is something that I have been thinking a little bit about for the past few days. I am a music student at a university, and this can be very difficult sometimes. It can be a very stressful major and sometimes I wonder if I should even still be in the program. However, as I think this, I can't help but laugh to myself because the one thing that we all enjoy so much (music, of course!) is also the thing that is causing the most stress in our lives! It's so interesting how something that causes us so much joy could also cause so much distress. Although I guess this is how it goes with many things in life. In order to get anywhere with any major or profession, no matter how much you love it, you will have to go through some extremely difficult trials. I suppose that this is what it means to grow up. You finally have the maturity and discipline to acknowledge something you love to do, and to stick with it even when it gets hard. I also suppose that this is what makes life so fulfilling. When you can be proud to say that you pushed through and know that it only made you stronger. All of this that I have described is my biggest challenge with music right now. I am trying to have the courage to put myself out there and accomplish my goal of getting a bachelors degree in music, but sometimes I find myself tempted with the easy way out of just stopping with a minor. So, I'm going to challenge myself this week to stick with my promises to myself to practice. Even though I know it will be difficult to get started, I also know that the personal rewards I feel from getting the task done will completely outweigh any challenges.

One of Those Days...

     As you have probably already figured out, today is definitely one of those days. It seems as though nothing is going according to plan. I was supposed to go out to Leavenworth tomorrow morning for a piano festival, but the weather is not cooperating. I also am unable to practice (flute at least) because my instrument will be in the shop until Tuesday. And yet again, I am at work with spotty internet reception, no phone reception, and hardly anyone coming in. On these kinds of days I find it very difficult to think of much that really makes me happy. Although I guess the best way to start is to remind yourself of what you are grateful for, and the things that you may be overreacting about.

Things I am grateful for:
1. That I even HAVE a job.
2. When my instrument comes back, it will be in great playing condition.
3. I can still practice piccolo and practice by listening what I am playing this quarter.
4. I have family, friends, and a boyfriend that love and support me.

Things I am probably overreacting about:
1. The weather. Although I probably will not be able to go to the piano festival, it is not the end of the world.
2. Assuming people don't call because they don't want to talk, not because they are busy with something important.
3. Again, work. Many people wish they had down time like I do. It is a blessing in disguise.

A Little Inspiration

     Not too long ago, I asked my boyfriend what seemed to me like a simple question: "Do you believe in God?" I remember expecting a simple yes or no, but what I got was something much more meaningful. The conversation went something like this...

Him: Yes.
Me: Why? (Being the curious person I am, of course I would ask this question!)
Him: Because I hear God when I hear music.

I can't say that his response surprised me at all, but it definitely struck a chord with me (pun intended!). Since then I have been mulling over our conversation in my head, mainly thinking about my own connection with the music I play and listen to. In this whole thinking process I've realized that I agree with him. Although there aren't many pieces of music that really strike me hard enough to make me extremely emotional, there are absolutely a few that just make me want to laugh and cry at the same time because I am so overcome with emotion. As I was recently listening to one of those few pieces, I realized that I could hear the voice of God in the music. I did not know this because I felt he was telling me something in particular, but rather because it was so beautiful and made me feel so many things I could not put into words. I feel like this kind of beauty can only be captured by those chosen by God to do so.
     Now, you have to remember, I am not trying to preach the word of God to anyone. In fact, I do not attend church and am not really a religious person myself. However, this does not mean that I do not believe in God. As I found myself lost in the music it came to me that the people who can play music have of course been given a gift from God, but those that compose it have been given a challenge. They have been given the hard task of putting their ideas into some of the most beautiful compositions the world has ever know, but they were chosen because they could handle it and they were not at all afraid of their gift. Think of Bach, for example. Not only did he put out an incredible number of works, but each seemed to be absolutely flawless. To this day his music is considered an essential part of any musician's repertoire. And you know what? He worked composing for the church. Out of all the composers, I have a special connection to Bach's music because I feel like everything he wrote was for a purpose and that all you need to know is right in front of you. It is, in my eyes, his translation from God.
     Even if you are not religious, consider this the next time you hear music. I know I was inspired, and you might be surprised at what you find inside yourself. 

The New Year

     So we've made it to the new year: 2012. The world is supposedly ending, every is looking at the economy with a "glass half full" attitude, and of course we all have our new year's resolutions. But I have to ask, what is so different about a new year than any other time? Why should we treat it any differently than other times during the year? My point being that it seems as though we make resolutions to be better people and have better attitudes which really only last for the first week of January. After that, we continue on how we were before and think to ourselves, "I'll try again next year." Why is it that we cannot think of every day to be like the new year. It is a new day, and there are new opportunities every single day we wake up to embrace them.
      I believe it is time that we stop celebrating the new year with resolutions, and instead try to embrace every single day with goals in mind. Can you imagine getting to the end of 2012 reflecting on how much you have accomplished instead of how much you let pass you by waiting for a new chance in 2013? Don't fret if you've made resolutions and haven't quite done the best job so far to follow them, thinking you have to wait for another chance. Instead, make it a point to think about them every single day, even when you aren't following them. Continue to remind yourself of what you want to do and what you want to become.

"The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can."

Robert Cushing

Update

     So again, it's been a long time since I've posted anything! My life has gotten so much busier since the last time I was blogging. I got the job I was interviewing for, and am now working at Bellingham Sportsplex as a soccer trainer and birthday party staff. I feel much more fulfilled now that I have a job, and feel much more financially secure. I also just finished midterm week at school, which was crazy to say the least! I did not have the best few days, but it is steadily getting better.
     Being so busy has been hard, but it has actually also been really good for me. It is teaching me to work more efficiently when I have a little bit of down time during my day to practice or get some homework done. Since this is something I will need to get better at as my curriculum gets harder, I find it to be a very positive thing. I feel a sense of accomplishment for being able to do so much at one time successfully. However, I have to say, I can't wait to take a little break next quarter! But for now, I am just going to keep trucking along and doing my best.

It's Been a While...

     Wow, I just realized how long it's been since I've written anything here! About a week may not be very long, but this past week has really felt like a month to me. Anyway, school has been hectic as always. I keep wondering if I've bitten off more than I can chew, but I'm doing well in school and making it work. I've been reminding myself since school started that my schedule really isn't that horrible (although 19 credits never really looks good), and that I've done a whole lot worse before.
     I am extremely excited because I actually was able to get a job interview. Much to my surprise, an employer I e-mailed about a month or two ago got back to me last week saying that they wanted to bring me in for an interview. It's amazing how things work out when you least expect it! I am really looking forward to meeting with them because this could be an amazing opportunity. I would be hired as a soccer coach, something which I have experience in and absolutely love doing. This would help me improve my teaching skills even more, and would also give me an outlet to get involved in soccer again (I did always say that once I stopped playing I would coach). I just plan and getting in there and really selling myself because I think I can be such a good coach to these kids!!
     Well, I think that is all for now. I would say life is pretty normal, but going really well at the moment! 

Berlioz Symphonie Fantastique

     All I will post today is the second movement of Symphonie Fantastique. This is how I am feeling right now, and what makes me happy today.

First Week of School

     I just finished the first "week" (three days) of school two days ago, and am getting ready for the first full week of busy classes. So far I am really enjoying all of my classes, and I feel so relieved to finally be busy again. Let me tell you, it felt amazing to go into the Performing Arts Center with more music to practice. I will get orchestra music tomorrow on top of that, and then more individual work for my flute lessons on top of orchestra! Needless to say, I thrive when I'm busiest. I feel that the past few days have said a lot about how the year will continue to go, and if so I couldn't be happier. Not only am I doing well in all of my classes so far and enjoying all of them, but I feel I am also doing a good job balancing school work and my personal life. Now I just can't wait to see what lies ahead!

Hard Work Pays Off

     I came out of my placement audition with amazing success! I am now part of the university Wind Symphony and Orchestra! I could not be happier with these results. I get to play in the same ensembles as some of my best friends here at school as well as with my brother for the first time. I am so excited for this year to start now, and was so happy about these results that I started jumping up and down cheering! I can't wait to play amazing music with some of the best musicians on campus.
     Most of all, I am so happy to see that my hard work all summer paid off. I spent so much time practicing and trying to improve. In fact, I really do not remember working so hard for something in my life! It is the most amazing feeling in the world to get something you wanted so desperately by working as hard as you possibly could.

Ready to Go Again

     Placement auditions are done, and it feels great! I did the best that I could, and am hoping it was enough to move up from where I was last year. We'll see! Most of all, I was so happy to see and hang out with my good friends again. I've been more alive today than what feels like the whole summer. I think that's what happens when you find friends who just get you and that you like to spend time with. Tonight I'm going to a "music" party. It'll be good to see a lot of people from the music department again as well. I'm just ready for things to get back to normal again, which means for things to get really busy! Tomorrow I will be heading over to school to see the outcome of placement auditions as well as play with the Viking Band at the university's Info Fair (which also means lots of free stuff, and who doesn't like that?!). I also have to read the first chapter of my abnormal psychology textbook before school starts on Wednesday. Needless to say, there is a lot to do! It's a good thing that seeing everyone back on campus today has me rearing to start another year of college.

The "Big" Day

     So, tomorrow is the day of my placement audition. I put big in quotes because while it is not really a big day (you see, the professors listening to auditions have basically already made up their minds on where people will be placed), my mind seems to play tricks on me into thinking it's bigger than it is. I am beginning to get nervous, although mostly because I have not performed in quite a while. At this point, I am just trying to stay present in the moment, and save all of the thoughts about my audition for tomorrow.
     I am watching a funny (although not supposed to be funny) 80's movie with my boyfriend after having a little something to eat. It is quite the relaxing evening, after taking a short nap around dinner time and then just relaxing on the couch with some television. It's been a gloomy day, and so my apartment has been very dark except for the dim glimmer of the Christmas lights on my walls. I would say this has definitely contributed to the sleepy state I've seemed to be in today. However, this is not a bad thing. It's been a really nice Sunday, and my parents as well as my boyfriend's parents came up for lunch today. Overall, although I'm beginning to feel a bit nervous for tomorrow, I'm still trying to focus on the great day I had today.

"How to Cook Your Life"

     Yesterday I watched a documentary titled, "How to Cook Your Life." While it was a little different than I expected, it ended up being very good and even inspiring. The camera follows a group of people taking a cooking class from zen chef Edward Espe Brown. He describes how when he was young he wondered where the world went wrong with food. Our food isn't fresh, it sits in packages for weeks. However, at the same time, we throw away perfectly good food just because it's past the serve date printed on the package. Now he is a renowned chef, and in the video he discusses the importance of being present while cooking and wasting as little as possible among other things. It is a very intriguing video, and while I will admit it is not for everyone, I would recommend watching it because it was actually very eye-opening. While listening to the advice of Edward Espe Brown, you may be thinking, "Well, that's obvious." However, how many times in our life do we actually follow the "obvious" advice? Yesterday I finally took the chance to try out exactly what he was saying, and the result was astounding. I found myself, for once, thinking in the present and enjoying what was happening around me. Let me tell you, for someone who is ALWAYS thinking at least a few days ahead, it felt incredible to actually be in the present moment. I will continue to try to follow his advice, and I would recommend that everyone take another good listen to the seemingly obvious advice in life. You might be surprised to find you are not following it.

Improvement

     I have found that one of the best feelings in the world is when others can see how hard you work and the improvement you've made in an area of your life. I speak about this with regard to my music. I have worked so hard in the past year to improve my tone (the way my instrument sounds when I play it), my practicing habits, and especially my performing. I can't even believe the improvement I've made when I look back at my adventures throughout the year. My tone has changed so much (for the better), and I now practice at least one hour every day. I think that the biggest improvement that has been made, however, has been in my performing. I used to avoid performing at any cost, and it resulted in becoming more terrified of it than I originally was. I actually think that I never before considered being a music major because I was so afraid. However, I am so proud of myself for finally not making excuses starting last year. I told myself that if I ever wanted to be able to perform and enjoy it, I had to keep doing it. I finally decided that being afraid was not a good enough reason to not do it. Throughout the year, I played successfully at a masterclass and studio class recital as well as numerous chamber music and big ensemble concerts. I began to like the anticipation I got right before performing, and I started to get good at it too.
     I can't wait to see the improvement I make this year, which starts with a placement audition on Monday. I am absolutely prepared, and intend on just having a good time with it! 

Starting Again

     Today was another great day. Many of my friends have finally returned to school, and the music building started to come alive again. I went to play music at an important fundraiser for the university, and had a really great time hanging out with a lot of fun people. I also got to speak with my band professor for the first time in a few months, and he now knows I am a music major. It's always very cool to see my professors getting excited about what I'm doing, and it helps to keep me going. I'm now looking forward to the start of school even more than I was before!

Altruism

     This has turned out to be an interesting day. I have had more chances today to commit completely altruistic acts than probably for the last couple months. First, as I was driving my car to go downtown, I saw an older woman fall on the side of the road when getting her mail. Shocked, I stopped my car immediately and, along with another person who had seen the incident, went to make sure she was alright. After making sure she was okay and leaving, as I was driving downtown, a bicyclist ran into the back of my car. Again shocked at the loud thud behind me, I immediately put my car in park and the emergency brake on and looked behind me to make sure she was alright. I later finally made it to my destination after these two incidents.
     When I arrived at my destination, I started to think about what had happened and about how many people would have actually stopped to make sure the people involved were okay. And so I come to another thing I would like to say today: try to make it a goal to commit an act of altruism everyday, even if it is just as small as opening the door for someone with their hands full. That action alone may not seem very altruistic to you, but it is to the person walking through that doorway.